An internationally recognized day to honor all of those that voluntarily choose not to have children. As a non-accidental parent of two, this one is very alien to me. Which is great, as I like leaving my comfort zone and exploring the other side of things. (That’s why I may attend NACIS this year.)

But first a question: who came up with this day? Essentially, what we’re celebrating today is International Anti-Birthday. Which seems kind of odd. Who is anti-birthdays? (Besides the Hungarians, perhaps, who instead celebrate name days.)

Certainly not national governments, which typically require children to keep their economies churning and fill their army ranks. Though, admittedly, both of these things are less required now than ever before given AI upending the white-collar labour force and drones rapidly diminishing the utility of ground troops.

I can also see burnt-out parents tipping their hats to adults that voluntarily choose not to have children. Several nights ago, when my teen daughter went AWOL for hours, I probably could have been enticed to donate to the Childless movement. But mostly that was due to the fear that I was about to lose my child to some unforeseen tragedy. Turns out she wasn’t huffing glue, vaping, or chewing edibles – everything I naturally presumed she’d be doing – but scooting all over town with another friend, raiding other out-of-town friends’ gardens for fresh produce. She lost track of time and… she came home with a bag full of fresh produce to two irate parents. But hard to stay mad at someone who brings you bell peppers…

In general, aside from mini-heart attacks due to assuming my kids are making horrible life decisions, I’m quite pro-kids. It’s almost always the adults in a room that I tend to avoid. So regardless of its origins, this day wasn’t made for me, even though I’m certainly not anti-people that are anti-having-kids for themselves. I don’t care what other people decide to do with their lives. I’m not pro-natalist; just not against having kids personally.

Regardless, again, I like to take myself out of my own comfort zone. So I thought it would be fun to put myself in the shoes of someone that truly is a Childless advocate. Someone who really, really, really doesn’t want to have kids. If I were such a person, what would I map to celebrate this day?

And I came up with this 1940s-themed, jingoist newspaper-style map showing many (though definitely not all) of the communities in the US where children residents are completely banned or restricted. Because the Childless need their Heimat too. (Bonus: my dad just started wintering in one such city in Arizona last year, and I thought… I don’t even know where he goes for nine months, so now I will.) So…

Fellow Childless people, we must remain steadfast!

[See, I really am trying to be in character here. It’s called method mapping…]

We must fight off the hegemonic scourge of child-rearing!

Though… wait… the odds of our cultural system surviving beyond one or two generations is slim-to-none. Has anyone thought this through?! Our cultural movement is doomed to extinction by design…

[Crap! I fell out of character… Sorry!!! Back on it…]

Long live our Childless Strongholds in Washington, New Jersey, Arizona, (and the one random place in) Maryland, and all others that the government hides from us due to their pro-birthday policies!

Give me freedom from children, or give me… give me…

Is that a box of vanilla-glazed, Kinnikinnick gluten-free donuts? Okay, please give me that. That’ll do…

(D’oh! Muddled it up again.)

All joking aside, happy International Childfree Day to all childfree people out there… and your parents.

Thank you, United Nations, for creating this wonderful day.

View map here

Web Mapper GPT Prompt

Please design a map of these locations that do not allow young people to live in them. This is a satirical map to celebrate Childfree Day on Saturday.

The map should be kind of campy, like 1940s News Real or WWII updates: a propaganda title and theme … e.g., The last islands of Childfree Sanctuary (but something wittier and better).

Emphasize these locations, the few there are, in different states across the US, perhaps with pop-out circle detail maps or other. Consider rotating the map orientation, etc., too. I’ve added a stylesheet that will hopefully help guide you. Datasets are also attached.

This map will alrgely be datalight. It’s okay. Its not about the data – it’s about the theme. Ignore including expository text in the title or legends, etc. Only include that stuff in an About/Sources modal. Please also mention: “Cartographer: [Ian Muehlenhaus](https://www.muehlenhaus.com)”.

Thanks! It doesn’t have to be overly interactive or really interactive at all… just make it fun! Thanks. Include a provenance file in the About/Sources modal too, please.